Wednesday, October 18, 2017


So, writing has been a little slow in lieu of midterms, HOWEVER!!!!!

I have come across a fun little experiment on Facebook that I thought was awesome. It turns out it's a great way to keep the creative fluids from becoming too dormant while I'm away from the real writing. Essentially, whoever commented below my post would get a short introduction in a make-believe novel of my creation.
In other words: "Comment and I'll reply with how I'd introduce you in a novel."
It requires a lot more thinking than I originally anticipated, because it required me to delve deep into the characters of people that I know in real life and turn it into a fictional scenario. Some of these people I haven't even talked to in years! I'm going to admit, some of these people I'm not even fond of, but have yet to remove them from my newsfeed. Therefore, I had to be a little touch-and-go in some situations, while still trying to maintain a little bit of my integrity.
I'd like to share with you some of my favorites thus far (the post is ongoing). I'll provide their (fake) name, my relationship to them, and my opinion of them in brief. For context.

Peyton - Boyfriend's best friend's ex-girlfriend - Sour and sore, but she doesn't know it.

"Princess," I thought to myself, rather obtusely, "She's a princess." The girl in question had one leg propped up against the back of the bench on which she sat. The other leg was dangling precariously over the knee of a man I could only assume was her partner. Though her current physical position might have suggested otherwise, she was in all regards a woman of royalty. She had the countenance of an Elizabethan actress and yet put off airs of seething power and underlying dominion. Her smile was warm and her breath was loud and she held her head high. At the time, I found it in my best interest to keep my distance. In hindsight, I realize there was no need for such trivialities.

Dalton - Friend from high school - I like him enough. He's a genuinely good dude. He's a furry.

He was the kind of dude you just really wanted to pull into a bear hug and never let go. His hair sat in a polite, curly mess on top of his head, and his eyes seemed warm, even though I couldn't see them very well from where I was sitting. Not that I was far away, or in an inopportune place to make my, he was sat right straight across from me. Rather, his eyes were averted, as he was staring rather intently at his sketchpad, drawing what looked to be some kind of masked creature with a really strange tail. Needless to say, I was intrigued.
"Hey... erm- what are you drawing there?"

Petunia - An old best friend - She's gorgeous. I love her. She can get a bit much at times.

She was fire personified. Not only was her hair as flame red as the lips with which she spoke, but her voice was a warm hearth that birthed fading embers with every syllable that slid from her tongue through her teeth. Her skin, aglow in the midday star, glistened like radiant passions of the sun - a force of which cannot be disputed. Her smile was the flash of a torch against which everything else was night. Her laugh pierced and set aflame the darkness that enveloped my innermost self. I was set on fire that day. She awakened me to a brighter world, which never again will be cold, nor broken. That day, I fell in love with fire.

Gertrude - An old acquaintance - I never really liked her. Found her quite annoying. But she's nerdy.

When: Twelve o'clock midnight.
Where: The Brookhampton Cinema on the west end.
Why: The premiere of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's stone.
Not many people were lined up outside of our three-screen movie theater, but at least with a cursory glance around the street you could pick out the faces of the people you might actually want to talk to at school the next day. These were my people: the nerds, the outcasts, and the ones with an IQ high enough to process middle-school fiction (which, in our sad little city, was an accomplishment of its own). I went alone, as I do to most of my social outings. I suppose I really shouldn't call my outings "social" for the very fact that I always went by myself. 
That being said, I wasn't expecting to meet anyone especially interesting there. I was just going to watch a movie like everyone else... but she changed everything. She was alone, just like me. She held a wand in her right hand and a copy of the book in her left. She was leaning against the brick wall of the cinema, looking refined and pleasant but chilled against the wind. She wore a scarf that looked warm enough to burrow in for the winter - the soft smile that found it's place without any seeming purpose, however, lit the fire in my stomach. I had to talk to her.
Apprehensively I approached her, wand at the ready and a smile I could only hope was at least slightly less than outright creepy. 
"Hi. I.. erm... came here alone. And well, you look really approachable, and I was kinda hoping that - I dunno - maybe we could sit next to each other when the movie starts or something?"
She met my eyes and her smile brightened, sending magic through my skin. She jumped up from the wall and drew her wand, pointing at my chest.
"Sure, but only if you can beat me at a duel!"

Ryan - Met him in German class last year - Speaks German. 

I swear to God, Allah, Buddha, *insert deity/religious figure here* that this kind of shit only ever happens to me. Who can honestly say that they've gotten into a car accident with a horde of German foreign exchange students - law students, to be exact - and lived to tell the tale? If you can, I am positive I can disprove you on the account that 1. German is a scary language and I'm sure you'd positively die upon being bitched at in such a tremendously intimidating tongue. 2. They're speaking an entirely different language, intimidation factor aside. How in the WORLD are you supposed to negotiate insurance? 3. They're law students. LAW. They'd probably find some way to finagle -filibuster... gerrymander... something like that - into innocence with their tricky rhetoric and obscure knowledge of the law. 
Unless you have Officer Ryan Croce at the scene, I wouldn't believe for a second that you're still a functioning member of living society after having an incursion such as that. 
He swaggered up to quite the warzone. Sabina had her clipboard out, looking like she was about smack me over the head with it. Gunther was assessing damages and taking notes. He would occasionally mutter something along the lines of "mein Gott" or "sehr interessant", and honestly he was getting on my nerves. Sabrina (not to be confused with Sabina) was trying to exchange information with me in broken English.. and not doing very well. Two or three others of the German clan were wondering around the crash site and speaking quickly over the phone.
"What seems to be the problem, here?" Officer Croce placed his hand on his belt and raised a sole eyebrow. 
"Car accident. Language barriers. I need a drink." I huffed.
His eyebrow somehow raised higher.
"Oh! Not until after I'm home safe and very far away from my car, of course. And not even before. Nope. Not even mouthwash this morning, officer."
His eyebrow descended. His upper lip, however, ascended in disgust. 
"Ew. Well, hope you at least brushed then."
He turned to Sabina - Sabrina. Shit.
"Hallo Offizier! Kannst du Deutsch sprechen?"
"Ja," he replied. A wild grin played across his face.
"Wir fahren fahren fahren auf der Autobahn"

I found myself getting a little weird with some of them... (the inside jokes were too easy).

Tiffany - An old best friend - Absolutely crazy, but a solid friend. Has a floppy bulldog.

I was sprawled out on the beach, taking a huge swig of my Capri Sun when I first saw her. I practically choked on that abnormally tiny yellow straw (which, in my defense, seems like an awfully obvious choking hazard). She was running through the foaming waters, bright blue hair fanning out in all directions. She became one with the ocean and the sky. Her long, sinuous limbs cascaded and ebbed like briny wavebreaks. Behind her lumbered the most awkward yet beautifully majestic beast I've ever laid my eyes on. I was immediately enamoured with her doggy countenance. Her rolls that mimicked the ocean currents... The drool that dribbled down her jowls like water off of a boat's bow. I must have her. 
A name, called to me in the wind like a song my mother used to sing... *fiooooona**fiooooona*
I have fallen for the fair Fiona. 

All of a sudden, the ocean parted in great walls of briny deep. Within, a man of incredible report: curly hair, muscle, and... BUNS. Between his salty cheeks sat a sponge. It was the sexiest sponge I've ever seen, to be exact. With legs even longer than the girl preceding him, and eyes bluer than the hair top her head -- I forgot all about Fiona. A new name in the wind.... A song like the god's... 
*spooongebooob (in fishnet stockings, of course)*

Sarah - My absolute best friend - The most perfect person on the planet. Likes memes, like me.

 I ran into her at the local Hobby Lobby - and by "ran into" I literally mean that. We knocked each other's glasses askew and we both profusely apologized. I scrambled to pick up the things she dropped on the floor while she scrambled to pick up mine. We locked eyes and smiled at one another, laughing appropriately at the hilarity of the awkward situation we had gotten ourselves into. 
"Hi, I'm Sarah," I said, offering her items back to her with outstretched hands.
"Hi, Sarah. I'm Sarah," she returned, also extending my items in her hands. 
Neither of us could really figure out how to transfer our items back to their respective Sarah - between the two of us, we had four occupied hands- so we decided we would just HAVE to check out together. 
Walking to the front, however, I noticed a terrible glint behind those adorable framed glasses. Before I knew it, my waist was being grasped firmly by her soft, thoroughly-sanitized hands. I noticed many things in that moment. Her fingernails, unpainted and short, buried themselves in the flesh below my ribs. The skin beneath the fresh tattoo on her forearm tightened across firm muscle. The smirk that played against the blush of her cheeks was devilish. I also felt blood rushing to my face as she got closer, her pink lips brushing my ear.

She whispered in a voice of pure, childlike innocence -


And I was thrown against the far wall. Paints all over the floor. Chaos. Betrayal.


  1. What a great idea! Do I dare try it on my Facebook???

  2. I got so many people commenting on it!! Beware, people love hearing about themselves, so you'll get a torrential downpour of responses. I'm drowning in them!